A new era of my family history is about to begin.  I’m the convert for the Heuer family name in my tree.  I’m the only baptized member in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Last night my family attended an ‘Eight is Great’ presentation by the primary presidency.  It was a short program (meant more for parents I think) to talk about the various aspects of turning the age of 8 in the Church.

Our daughter turns 8 this year and was reluctant to go to this program.  I think she thought we were going to drop her off or something.  To be honest, I was reluctant to go as well because I had to put a suit on…sigh…I hate suits.  The program was about preparing for the actual day of baptism (i.e., get your crap in order) as well as what it means for girls (activity days) and boys (scouts).  I think our daughter half paid attention.

As I was listening to this though and seeing the baptismal day in my head, it dawned on me, that she’ll be the second Heuer in the Church for my family.  This is my spiritual legacy beginning.  I felt odd and pressured a bit.  I’m not weirdly emotional about it, but perhaps when the day comes I’ll find it more inspirational.  I’m looking forward to it and trying to be a good example to my daughter so that she can start paying attention better to the foundations of the Church and the gospel.

Weird though.  1995 I was baptized.  2010 will bring another in my tree into the gospel.

I recently had a thought about journaling.  As a convert, this concept of journaling was new as it was introduced to me during discussions and indoctrination of the Mormon culture.  Of course, everyone knows about a diary.  So to me, I suppose I thought it was the same…sort of.

The more I think about journaling, the more I’m curious.  The concept of a diary to me has always been one of secrecy.  Heck, the fact that most diaries are sold with little locks tells me so, right?  I never kept one, but I’d always imagined those who did never intended for them to serve as lexicons for their life.  I always imagined they were the most personal of thoughts, written down as perhaps part of some therapeutic expression. 

As I started journaling (I suck at it mind you) I was writing in the concept that I’d imagine I *was* writing a lexicon of my life for future generations.  After all, in the Church we always hear about people reading from journals in talks, referring to historical moments, etc.  But have you ever heard someone read a journal entry that contained a deep secret of their life, or perhaps thoughts about their best friends that they never expressed (that were negative)?  I haven’t.  But why not?  If we write in journals with the knowledge that they may be read by future generations, wouldn’t we hear some of these things?  Surely even the Prophet had bad days and made note of them…angry with parents or friends, or girlfriends he thought was stinky?

For me more lately my written journal has, in fact, been a therapeutic expression of things that have gotten me down.  Reflecting on it recently it reads as a book of sad and angry thoughts, writing when I’m bummed out about life, work, or other crap that frustrates me.  What causes me to be inspired to write the bad times, but not the good?  And what of these sad/bad thoughts?  Do I want my adult children/grand-children of the future to read them?  If not, what then is their purpose?  If you go through troubling times in your life whether they be personal, with other family/friends, etc. – and you journal them – are they things you’d want your future generations to read?  What would/could the future impact be on thoughts of you?  on thoughts of those you wrote about?

What about you?  Do you journal for purely yourself or for future generations?  And do you hold back those most personal, emotional moments in fear of future interpretation?

Maybe not by Jack Handey, but I had one today…

If your spouse wrote a journal of you you treat them…what would it say?

Today’s Elder Quorum lesson was on prayer (Elder Bednar’s October 2008 talk Pray Always).  As a convert, I quickly learned that a big part of the LDS Church was prayer.  Pray for every meal (we used to say ‘Grace’ before special dinners only while growing up), pray morning, night, blessings, ordinances, family prayer, individual prayer, pray after studying scriptures, spouse prayer, Temple prayer, etc.  You get the drift.  Being a convert who hadn’t prayed much, this was somewhat foreign to me…not in a bad way, just in one of those yet-to-be-established habit sort of ways.  When things aren’t a habit, they are harder to start.

As a introductory question to the lesson today, our instructor asked the room full of about 30 fathers the following question:

Who grew up in a home that had family prayer?

Now, our Elder’s Quorum is filled with a range of age groups.  My best guess is that there is enough range to represent 4 different generations.  Upon hearing this question – I knew my answer was no – I expected a different response than what I saw.  I knew how I looked at certain people in my Ward and pegged some as the Peter Priesthood types and assumed their extended family was too.  After some chuckling of Can you qualify the parameters of that question?  Every day? Individual or all family? etc., the room had no hands in the air.

I was taken back a bit.  I’m not sure what the next 5 minutes discussion was.  I only know my thoughts were: I’m not alone.  But those thoughts came with shock as well.  Here is 4 generations of families…surely someone grew up in a home that followed the guidance of the Lord?  It was comforting and alarming at the same time.  Alarming in that how could I, a lowly convert who struggles constantly with a lot of things, be successful in the simple ask of family prayer, when those Peter Priesthoods weren’t successful either?  Comforting in that I’m human.

I mentioned the word habit above.  Perhaps here lies the problem.  If prayer becomes a habit, does it follow the guidance from Elder Bednar?  Is it always?  Sure if it is your habit.  Is it with sincere gratitude?  Hmm, for the routine things?  Do you pray for others?  Wow, beyond my family you mean?  Maybe I’ve been looking at this wrong the whole time.  If I’m trying to form a habit, I surely will succeed in forming one, but fail in the desired outcome of why I’m forming the habit.  I do want to have family prayer.  Despite my struggles religiously, I do want my children to establish their own thoughts on prayer and I want them to see that I have faith in that belief.

This small exercise today had me think the rest of the afternoon about my legacy on my family.  So I challenge you as well.

What is your family’s legacy on prayer?

I hope that my thoughts turn to sincere actions and a change of heart from habit to desire.

I got an email from Laurel today pointing me to a site that I think she’s involved with.  I had a moment to check it out and thought it was cool.  I can’t help think it is inspired by the Common Craft “Plain English” series of videos which are oft used to explain things in the technical community.  I think this is a great way to simplify some of the frequently asked questions about the Church, the people and things of practice (meetings, youth involvement, etc.).  Here’s an example of a 3 minute explanation of what to expect at a typical Mormon Sunday service:

Great idea guys and can’t wait to see what others you’ll have coming.  My suggestion would be to enable some RSS feed so that I can be notified of when new videos are posted (hint, hint).

I just came across this video where ABC news did an interview with Elder Ballard and Elder Cook and talked about Temples, misunderstandings of belief, etc.

It was an interesting piece, but even interesting is that despite the interview they (ABC) did, where the Apostles mentioned that the FLDS groups are not a part of our belief, the news agency still included the Texas compound situation in the same sentences.  I suppose titilating headlines/intros still prevail over truth.

As a convert though it is great to see more open discussions about the faith.  We should not hide from our beliefs (nor should anyone) but be proud of them and declare the truths which we know.

Video and story: Mormons Open Doors to Discuss Religion.

A month ago I wrote about three words that simply made my day.  Today, after 2 pretty long days with my kids while the wife was out with friends, I had lost a lot of patience.  My daughter fell asleep in our bedroom as she does sometimes, and I was preparing to bring her into her room.  I usually go into her room first and get it all ready so that I can quietly just pick her up from ours and put her in her bed.

Tonight as I did this routine, I pulled the sheets back and discovered something poking out beneath her pillow.  This is what I pulled out:

This was unsolicited.  Something she probably was drawing today while keeping herself busy.  A HUGE smile came across my face and my eyes teared up.  I am so humbled to have been rewarded in my life with such a wonderful spirit in my daughter and son.

I love my family too, Zoe.

Last Saturday, despite being the day of our annual holiday Festivus party, it started as a pretty rough day.  People disagreeing, arguments ensue, etc.  Hey, these things happen.  Hopefully we all have it within us to try to temper our emotions (some of us better than others—and I’m NOT speaking of myself).  That Saturday wasn’t one of those moments.  Before our party, my kids were going to be picked up to stay at Grandma’s for the night so that we could party ‘til the wee hours of the morning (yeah right).

As my stress level was at the highest and my emotions boiling over, my daughter stops on her dash to the car picking her up, turns around and drops her backpack and runs back.  She ran up to me gave me a great big hug and simply said ‘I love you dad.’

My heart had never been so full as it did in that moment.  I didn’t let her go.  And she didn’t mind that either which made the moment even more precious to me.  It was the absolute best moment I’ve ever experienced as a parent so far.  The moment felt like hours but I’m sure it was only a few seconds.  My eyes were definitely watery (I’m an emotional sap anyway) and all I remember is whispering to her “thanks Zoe, I really needed that.”  I let her go and she was off.  She probably has no idea how important that moment was for me and for our relationship as father-daughter.  I’ve written it in my journal and hopefully one day she can appreciate it.

It reminded me of the awesome responsibility of parenthood.  And not ‘awesome’ as in the ‘far our cool’ sense, but the weight of us as parents.  I think that every decision in my life now has a third pivot of analysis – how does it affect my children.  This is as simple as going out to dinner with friends to job changes that might affect moving, etc.  We, as parents, don’t decide for ourselves anymore, but rather decide for those we preside over in our family.  How can I think it is okay to decide about a great job opportunity if it involves taking my children away from an environment that they love so much?  Sure, they are young and it is likely they can make new friends, adapt to new schools, etc. – but to simply discount those as trivial seems irresponsible.  I haven’t yet had to hit these types of walls yet, but I know that I eventually will.

I’m comforted though that my experience in my faith helps me through these times as a parent and helps guide me to what is right in life.  I’m hopeful that as time passes that I can continue to be strong with my children and teach them what I believe and why…to help them discern for themselves the spirit that they feel when thinking about such matters of faith.  I guess that only time will tell.

But thank you Zoe for that moment…and I love you too – more than you can even imagine.

I recently (tonight) had the opportunity to talk with our (rather) new Bishop of our Ward.  A while back we had a 5-way split, creating 2 new Stakes and various new Wards.  As a result a lot of Bishoprics were dissolved and new ones created.  Ours was one such Ward.  There was a lot of speculation and typical gossip on who would be the next Bishop.  Bets were placed (not really) and hallway snickering occurred.  The day came.  Our Bishopric was called and they were all people my age!  Whoa.  Humbling.  Our Bishop had been in the previous Bishopric and I’d come to know him as a pretty great guy.  He and his family seem so much fun.

Tonight I called upon my Bishop for some guidance.  He came over promptly and sat down to talk.  Here I was, talking with what could have been the guy I went golfing with earlier that day.  It was odd for a moment as I’ve only known my Bishops to be “older” (no offense) than me.  Bishop Williams isn’t much (if at all?).  I started to blabber as he listened and nodded about things I was saying.  I figured he’d just listen.

Then it happened.

As he spoke, I could see this wasn’t “Duane” anymore.  He was transformed and provided such amazing abilities to understand, explain, comfort.  We spent the next 2 hours or so talking.  He shared stories from GA’s from memory, he popped open scripture and pointed to perfect passages without hesitation.  He understood me.  I’ve not been that impressed in a while.  I don’t know what happens when you are called as Bishop…if you suddenly get a crash course in Zig Ziglar training, or are given some type of injection of knowledge, but whatever it is, it’s a blessing to them and to those they serve.  I can only imagine it is within some deep prayers and meditation that they receive whatever abilities they need to perform their duties with peace and a calming effect on themselves and those they serve.  It’s as if words seemingly flow with ease and without a stupor of thought.

Bishop Williams, a peer, counseled me today and I listened.  Bishop, you are indeed a man of God.

In about 2001 I was called to be the Ward “website specialist” – I assume from my geeky nature it was a good calling to have.  It actually got me pretty inspired to provide some real value online for the local members.  Although my ideas of 8% online tithing and Relief Society gossip columns didn’t pan out, it was fun to put together a web site for the ward for calendar items and a leadership directory.  Within months, however, I was asked to take it down (as were others across the country) by request of the office of the First Presidency.  The letter (in my recollection) stated something along the lines of wanting to ensure the message of the church as well as the safety of the members…or something like that.  Effectively my calling ended when that letter was received.  It made me wonder why the Church was so afraid of new technology, but they have their reasons I guess.  It also noted that something was being worked on for the entire Stakes/Wards across the globe and that in due time we’d be able to participate.  Well, those “Stake and Ward Websites” finally came to fruition I think about 4 years later (maybe a year sooner?) as we now know them on the Church web site.  It’s a good resource for the Ward/Stake and I find really the most use of it as a directory…that information is provided by the membership…calendar items, etc. are dependent upon by the clerks and sometimes aren’t always that descriptive.

Aside from the web sites for Wards and Stakes, the Church actually has been embracing technology a lot more lately.  I credit that to the openness of the new(er) CIO, Joel Dehlin (former Microsoft employee ).  Here are some resources for LDS members provided by the Church and elsewhere that you may find interesting…

LDS Tech – pretty much the hub of information coming from the Church IT department.  Is full of forums and such.  I suggest you subscribe to the RSS feed for the best information.  What?!  You don’t know what RSS is? (I find that hard to believe since you are here.)  If you (or others) need a primer on what RSS is, check out this video.

Online Tech Talks – the Church started 2 years ago with this concept of “Tech Talks” – getting out into the community and talking about how the Church is using technology and answering questions.  I attended the first ones in Provo and it was good to meet a lot of the folks there that work on the systems that some of us use.  Recently they started doing online versions to reach more people.  The innaugural event was held on 28 August 2008 and was recorded as well.  You can check out the recording here.

LDS CIO – I’ve mentioned Joel’s name a few times already.  He’s also got a blog.  Check it out.

Familysearch – I’d be surprised if a member didn’t know about familysearch.org, but just in case, here it is listed.  Familysearch.org is a great genealogy resource for finding your ancestors and doing prepatory work for the Temple.  If you want to see what their teams are working on, check their labs site.

Coloring Pages for Kids – This is a great resource for finding things for the little ones in your family to color or use as visual aids during conference meetings or during sacrament.  Hey if you don’t allow your little ones to color during Sacrament, that’s fine…but if you do, wouldn’t you rather have them coloring religious images than barney or hello kitty?

LDS Media Talk – A site that talks about some of the Church’s use of media and other technology to spread the word.  This used to be formerly “ldswebguy” but now has a few more authors.

North Temple – This is the site for the interactive design/development group within the Church IT department (although I’m sure they probably don’t want to be associated with “IT”).  The Church has some really great designers on staff.  This site started out talking about the design aspects of stuff they build for the Church, etc. but has really taken a different path this past year.  I find most of it irrelevant to the Church, but perhaps that is the direction they want to go now.  Regardless, it is a team that is online, so I wanted to list it here.

LDS Maps – An interactive map application to help members find places of worship across the world.  Originally the Church had a very non interactive ‘meeting house locator’ that served a purpose but wasn’t real modern…and maybe that was okay.  The geek in me said it wasn’t.  In January of 2007 there was a discussion on the LDS (then beta) tech forums.  I posted a prototype of something I had been working on that used the interactive map APIs from Microsoft Virtual Earth.  While not implemented exactly how I had it in my prototype (with boundaries, etc.—check out the video link in the forum post link) I think this is a great implementation and feature for members.

LDS Blogs, Mormon Archipelago, Mormon Blogs – These are all non-church resources but are aggregate listings of LDS bloggers around the world.

ReturnAndReport.org – This web site won an award during the LDS Tech Talk recently.  It is an online resource for Elder Quorums/Relief Societies to help facilitate reporting of Home/Visit Teaching.  Interesting that the Church would award/recognize this as it shows a change from the days of ‘take down the web site.’  I’m trying to get my EQ to implement this to test it out.

PDA Resources: Want scriptures for your mobile phone/PDA?  Here you go: iPhone (ReadScriptures.com) – online and has an iPhone native application for $15; The Scriptures for iPhone – native iPhone app for FREE; Church publications for Handhelds; Mobile MLS tools.

There are some great online resources for LDS members.  If you know of more, please post them here in the comments!